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as i said on twitter, i always thought Mark Lee, idol extraordinaire, beloved leader, shining gem of nct (u, 127, dream) would be leaving sm in a bodybag and smack dab in his 30s. so opening twitter at 5am not to tragic news but that of him unceremoniously leaving nct and sm, i was more in shock than anything resembling despair, grief, mourning.
then i spent all day at work with nothing to do but think about this, then i spend all weekend listening to old songs and watching 2021 dream content…… reader, i gained thoughts.
so this is a rant, an in memoriam for the mark lee i knew
MARK, April 2016–April 2026
what makes the perfect idol? skills? visuals? personality? variety talent? i think mark had most of these things, but those things don’t make an idol. an idol is a product for a company to make outrageously unethical, and unethically outrageous money. i believed mark’s prodigious charisma, outstanding rap and dance skills, naive charm, longsuffering dynamic with his members made him extremely marketable for sm, but what made him truly an admirable trainee and perfect idol was his undying ability to endure and seek out overwork.
trainee systems are abuse. they put mostly teens into an unforgiving schedule built on sleep deprivation. in fact, i would trainees get punished for even trying to stay in school by the fact that they cannot stay awake during school hours, they cannot go do any extracurricular activities, they cannot participate in the crucial transitional stage of high school. middle school too, if they are lucky. most teens rebel against that; they don’t want to practice too late, they want to sneak out and have a big meal, sleep in and play games.
(dream always talk about how they were sheltered by the trainers but that’s basically the equivalent of counting your lucky stars when you get hit three times instead of ten. funchildhood trainee stories about throwing away your ice cream because you got caught are actually not that fun.)
and mark, the perfect trainee? always last one out of the practice room, never caught slacking, legendary role model for all trainees. it always frustrated me when they talked about haechan distracting mark from training and wanting to slack off because that is normal. rest is good, rest is productive. and you’re damn right it pissed me off that mark taught haechan to work hard, because that is NOT the right lesson! “working hard” in kpop speak means destroying your body and mind to satisfy the company. his loyalty to the “dream” and to sm was what made him stand out, and sm didn’t even have to break his mind into it. no, they just reinforced it again and again.
and what makes the perfect boy group? men in south korea are bound by enlistment, and in a fast-paced capitalistic world that automatically means idols and boy groups are bound by youth. (not that it’s different for girl groups, but the reasoning is tried and true misogyny) a good product has a long shelf life, so kpop companies start young and market youth. sm is a true master of youthful debuts, starting from h.o.t. and ending with nct wish. look at these teenagers, they are so rebellious and innocent! they are so cute and prepubescent!predators look HERE documented pedo min heejin come manage a comeback with an mv about crushing on your high school teacher but you look like you’re in primary school!
(i am simplifying a lot of things because you could talk endlessly about youth and kpop but i put my faith in a shared knowledge base)
enter, sm’s magnum opus in exploiting youth, something so beautiful because it is so short and because it ends: nct dream. a boy group to end all boys groups, one comprised of only teenagers because you graduate when you turn 20. every comeback is about shining youth and potential, every comeback is a nostalgia trip, every comeback is jam packed with the melancholy of loss. they pursue the mystery of “growing up,” but nct dream would never ever grow up.
in sm’s plan with the graduating lineup, this would never end. an endless roster of heartbreaking teens entering adulthood, losing and loving with fierce, captivating immaturity. mark left in 2018 because he was too old for youthful dream. half of 00z were going to become lose their jobs at 20, and chenle and jisung would have had to chug along with these scars, knowing they, too, would become useless soon.
but it worked too well. dream had the perfect narrative, fans got too invested.
cue april 2020, new plan, old group. better plan, the metanarrative now is even more tragic.
because dream can’t grow up. every comeback is still about new beginnings, naive teenagerdom slightly modified to young new adulthood. nostalgia bait and looking back is still the brand, because it keeps everyone emotional and fans buying. dream are so happy now because they used to be in so much pain, please look at their youth, please keep getting retraumatized, please never stop reliving these years.
and it just hurts in the best way, that dream will never grow up. youth and its ephemerality was the selling point, but now it is youth and its permanence. the trauma sm idolhood caused will keep them stunted forever; they will never become adults because they never got to be children. jisung will always be the youngest little boy on earth. fans will always fight for these kids’ wellbeing because they sure can’t fight back against sm. isn’t that reassuring? isn’t that so fucking sad?
mark certainly thought so.
i admit to thinking this would never go anywhere when he released this song, because certainly this was just another masterplay for sm, to capitalize on the very wounds they inflicted. perfect idol mark would gain sentience for little while and fall right back in line, because that’s what he had always done and that’s what he will always do.
it is my greatest pleasure that mark has exceeded my expectations.
i will thank mark for leading this charge too, because i do believe this is actually, for real the start of something new. nct dream have always dreaded change because it was deliberately made miserable for them. their feelings of unease and grief were documented as content for the masses. although i know mark and the dreamies wanted to let us know and give us a proper farewell, i am heartened that they got their own time to talk, process, mourn in private.
as mark takes the step to leave his childhood behind and protect his present, my fervent hope is that this will help heal some of dream’s trauma. because this loss is not a hopeless, tragic event. mark growing up and leaving dream is not inherently bad, but sm had made sure it hurt everyone involved the first time. this time, however……
people change, people grow up, adults are not the same as they were in childhood. i haven’t paid nearly as much attention in the last few years because the nostalgia machine got too stale, too upsetting for me. and in that time, mark became a different person. i don’t know him, he is no longer idol extraordinaire, beloved leader, shining gem of nct Mark Lee.
he’s grown up now.
then i spent all day at work with nothing to do but think about this, then i spend all weekend listening to old songs and watching 2021 dream content…… reader, i gained thoughts.
so this is a rant, an in memoriam for the mark lee i knew
MARK, April 2016–April 2026
Natural causes
what makes the perfect idol? skills? visuals? personality? variety talent? i think mark had most of these things, but those things don’t make an idol. an idol is a product for a company to make outrageously unethical, and unethically outrageous money. i believed mark’s prodigious charisma, outstanding rap and dance skills, naive charm, longsuffering dynamic with his members made him extremely marketable for sm, but what made him truly an admirable trainee and perfect idol was his undying ability to endure and seek out overwork.
trainee systems are abuse. they put mostly teens into an unforgiving schedule built on sleep deprivation. in fact, i would trainees get punished for even trying to stay in school by the fact that they cannot stay awake during school hours, they cannot go do any extracurricular activities, they cannot participate in the crucial transitional stage of high school. middle school too, if they are lucky. most teens rebel against that; they don’t want to practice too late, they want to sneak out and have a big meal, sleep in and play games.
(dream always talk about how they were sheltered by the trainers but that’s basically the equivalent of counting your lucky stars when you get hit three times instead of ten. fun
and mark, the perfect trainee? always last one out of the practice room, never caught slacking, legendary role model for all trainees. it always frustrated me when they talked about haechan distracting mark from training and wanting to slack off because that is normal. rest is good, rest is productive. and you’re damn right it pissed me off that mark taught haechan to work hard, because that is NOT the right lesson! “working hard” in kpop speak means destroying your body and mind to satisfy the company. his loyalty to the “dream” and to sm was what made him stand out, and sm didn’t even have to break his mind into it. no, they just reinforced it again and again.
and what makes the perfect boy group? men in south korea are bound by enlistment, and in a fast-paced capitalistic world that automatically means idols and boy groups are bound by youth. (not that it’s different for girl groups, but the reasoning is tried and true misogyny) a good product has a long shelf life, so kpop companies start young and market youth. sm is a true master of youthful debuts, starting from h.o.t. and ending with nct wish. look at these teenagers, they are so rebellious and innocent! they are so cute and prepubescent!
(i am simplifying a lot of things because you could talk endlessly about youth and kpop but i put my faith in a shared knowledge base)
enter, sm’s magnum opus in exploiting youth, something so beautiful because it is so short and because it ends: nct dream. a boy group to end all boys groups, one comprised of only teenagers because you graduate when you turn 20. every comeback is about shining youth and potential, every comeback is a nostalgia trip, every comeback is jam packed with the melancholy of loss. they pursue the mystery of “growing up,” but nct dream would never ever grow up.
in sm’s plan with the graduating lineup, this would never end. an endless roster of heartbreaking teens entering adulthood, losing and loving with fierce, captivating immaturity. mark left in 2018 because he was too old for youthful dream. half of 00z were going to become lose their jobs at 20, and chenle and jisung would have had to chug along with these scars, knowing they, too, would become useless soon.
but it worked too well. dream had the perfect narrative, fans got too invested.
cue april 2020, new plan, old group. better plan, the metanarrative now is even more tragic.
because dream can’t grow up. every comeback is still about new beginnings, naive teenagerdom slightly modified to young new adulthood. nostalgia bait and looking back is still the brand, because it keeps everyone emotional and fans buying. dream are so happy now because they used to be in so much pain, please look at their youth, please keep getting retraumatized, please never stop reliving these years.
and it just hurts in the best way, that dream will never grow up. youth and its ephemerality was the selling point, but now it is youth and its permanence. the trauma sm idolhood caused will keep them stunted forever; they will never become adults because they never got to be children. jisung will always be the youngest little boy on earth. fans will always fight for these kids’ wellbeing because they sure can’t fight back against sm. isn’t that reassuring? isn’t that so fucking sad?
mark certainly thought so.
i admit to thinking this would never go anywhere when he released this song, because certainly this was just another masterplay for sm, to capitalize on the very wounds they inflicted. perfect idol mark would gain sentience for little while and fall right back in line, because that’s what he had always done and that’s what he will always do.
it is my greatest pleasure that mark has exceeded my expectations.
i will thank mark for leading this charge too, because i do believe this is actually, for real the start of something new. nct dream have always dreaded change because it was deliberately made miserable for them. their feelings of unease and grief were documented as content for the masses. although i know mark and the dreamies wanted to let us know and give us a proper farewell, i am heartened that they got their own time to talk, process, mourn in private.
as mark takes the step to leave his childhood behind and protect his present, my fervent hope is that this will help heal some of dream’s trauma. because this loss is not a hopeless, tragic event. mark growing up and leaving dream is not inherently bad, but sm had made sure it hurt everyone involved the first time. this time, however……
people change, people grow up, adults are not the same as they were in childhood. i haven’t paid nearly as much attention in the last few years because the nostalgia machine got too stale, too upsetting for me. and in that time, mark became a different person. i don’t know him, he is no longer idol extraordinaire, beloved leader, shining gem of nct Mark Lee.
he’s grown up now.
